Poetic Musings From The Painted Desert

Unconditional

2006-11-26T18:13:00.000-08:00

Walking in my door, quietly to my room
I hear you just in time to turn around
and catch your eyes with mine; a smile
curves your sensual lips
as hazel eyes shine brightly
my heart jumps involuntarily
that warmth creeps into my cheeks
that familiar fluttering in my breast
my breath clinging in my throat.

Rising, going to where you stand, smiling,
as you place your keys on my dresser
I wrap my arms around your neck
and passionately kiss your lips
entreating you to follow me
to my bed, to our bliss, together
you hold my face I trace your lips
pressed softly, tightly 'gainst my own
until I gasp for air.

No spoken hellos, no how are you's
just needing, craving, yearning
each other, giving each other;
obsession to feel each other
touch each other's minds
pleasure each other's bodies
love each other's souls

Aching to open the deepest closets
believing you won't cringe.
Breathlessly, flushed, and dazed
gazing in your eyes
flame-licked glint inside your gaze
tempting me to dive inside
show you my soul
expose my desires, my hopes,
my fleeting confessions
while silently begging you
to understand and accept.

Our eyes engaged, solidly locked
heated kisses everywhere
taking my hand, pulling it downward
encompassing you, wet in my grasp
moving your hand downward too
my slickness between your fingers
beckoning to you

Gazes still locked fast in each other
feeling each other's needs and desires.
Make love to me, my darling!
Let me love your heart
bring to me your caring
carry from me, my love
walk through my mind
and caress my soul
allow us to love each other
as I make love to you, and you to me
entwine your soul in mine.

Don't You Know?

2006-11-26T17:55:00.000-08:00

Claiming you are 'just a guy'
who wishes to help me out;
You say you cannot understand
why 'someone like me' cares...
A 'knowledgable woman in intimacies'
next to 'a dip of vanilla' you claim.

Maybe I prefer vanilla.
Maybe all those 'knowledges'
have run their course for what they were
a diversion to discover what I want
and to say I know the difference
when I'm snuggled near your heart.

Haven't you read my eyes, man?
Haven't you felt my kisses?
Have not you felt the flames ignite,
dancing a fiery tune upon your skin?
Do you truly not comprehend
this fire can consume?

Have you noticed the thumping from my heart
as you crush me to your chest?
Skin against skin, tangled limbs
tangled emotions, breathing you in
Reveling in the essence that's you
man, don't you understand?

When you're gone, your scent still lingers
left upon my pillow;
I clutch that softness as I dream
and remember that you're real.
I recall your strong embrace,
your penetrating, searching gaze.

I remember how you kissed me tenderly
how that tenderness flared into passion...
of how I gave up my pulse to you
and gave to you your fill;
the softness your eyes took on
as you held me closely, quivering.

Touching me, and so surprised
you came away with wetness,
gasping, sighing, drawing you close
nuzzling into your hollows.
Can't you understand it yet?
My dear, you play with fire.

Holding my hand, you guide it downward
asking me to touch you...
(could it be, you finally asked me for something?)
Surprised and pleased you asked of me
eyes aflame, I carress you, shuddering
(he asked! he truly asked for my touch!)

Enter and douse this scorching fire
though burning embers linger...
a piece of me you have to hold
my heart forever trembles;
I know there's something more at play
than simple chemistry here.

You dislike tears, as mine slide free
they fill me with such wonder;
Not regret or sorrow, but blissfulness
our connection strongly pulling
We both know it's useless to fight it
Fill me with your powers.

Dual Storms

2006-07-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

Flashing bolts
slice through the night
windswept drops
blown on sill
shimmering
in candle's glow.

Flashing eyes
burn through the dark
lashes swept,
glistening sweat
shimmering
in candle's glow.

Electric currents
arcs, alights
on landscape's curves
carressed tonight
smell of heat
in shadowed
glances.

Electric shivers
hands alight
on softened curves
carressed tonight
smell of love
in shadowed
glances.

Moaning winds
straining gusts
crashing wetly
thoroughly pounds
quaking, shaking
hallowed grounds
wildly wet
exciting sounds

Moaning breaths
straining limbs
cresting wetly
on velvet mounds
quaking, shaking
wildly wet
exciting sounds.

Unconditional

2006-07-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

Walking in my door, quietly to my room
I hear you just in time to turn around
and catch your eyes with mine; a smile
curves your sensual lips
as hazel eyes shine brightly
my heart jumps involuntarily
that warmth creeps into my cheeks
that familiar fluttering in my breast
my breath clinging in my throat.

Rising, going to where you stand, smiling,
as you place your keys on my dresser
I wrap my arms around your neck
and passionately kiss your lips
entreating you to follow me
to my bed, to our bliss, together
you hold my face I trace your lips
pressed softly, tightly 'gainst my own
until I gasp for air.

No spoken hellos, no how are you's
just needing, craving, yearning
each other, giving each other;
obsession to feel each other
touch each other's minds
pleasure each other's bodies
love each other's souls
Aching to open the deepest closets
believing you won't cringe.

Breathlessly, flushed, and dazed
gazing in your eyes
flame-licked glint inside your gaze
tempting me to dive inside
show you my soul
expose my desires, my hopes,
my fleeting confessions
while silently begging you
to understand and accept.

Our eyes engaged, solidly locked
heated kisses everywhere
taking my hand, pulling it downward
encompassing you, wet in my grasp
moving your hand downward too
my slickness between your fingers
beckoning to you
Gazes still locked fast in each other
feeling each other's needs and desires.

Make love to me, my darling!
Let me love your heart
bring to me your caring
carry from me, my love
walk through my mind
and caress my soul
allow us to love each other
as I make love to you, and you to me
entwine your soul in mine.

The Meeting

2006-07-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

The Meeting

My day dawns as most,
work, and chores shared with cats...
then a knock on the door,
at this hour- who is that?
The dusk has just settled,
I expected no one...
just settling to read,
now that everything's done.
I pad to the door,
dressed in shorts, and a tee;
open it cautiously, and who do I see?

My jaw drops three feet, as I stare at the one
who is standing there, silently;
the man who brought me the sun.
My eyes, wide and brimming,
with amazement and awe...
the shock of your presence
has my jaw on the floor.

The tears well, and spill
from these eyes, wide with joy...
to contain my emotions
is more than I can employ.
My heart thuds and jumps;
I'm transfixed in my place...
my head swims and reels,
like an object in space.

Cats edge towards the door,
then they venture on out;
all I can see are your eyes...
shaking my head to clear doubt.
The blur of the cats
in my periphial view,
propels me to wake up...
now startled anew!

I rush past the Phantom
who has shaken me so,
to gather the cats
and make them safe, all in tow.
My friends safe inside,
I close the door, slowly turn...
Is he really here,
who for so long I have yearned?
Words still escape me,
I stare for awhile...
your eyes are so wonderful
when lit by your smile!

Your grin breaks me free
of my mesmerized stare;
I embrace you so tightly,
your lips pressed to my ear.
I weep in your arms,
both with joy and with love.
I whisper your name,
thanking God up above.

You finally speak,
try to whisper my name...
but your voice, choked and strangled,
comes out sounding strange.
Our hearts, pressed together,
echo each other...
you hold me so tightly,
I fear I may smother!

My legs, weak and trembling,
my hands shaking anew...
my body a-quiver,
as yours is, too.
You loosen your hold
for a moment in time,
then you reach out your hand
and entwine it in mine.

Our eyes hold pure wonder
as current charges between...
the first touch we shared,
made that energy stream.
At last, we retreat to indoors,
quite alone; once again,
hand in hand, we re-enter that zone.

All my questions rush forth
like a dam broken free...
you laugh, squeeze my hand,
and explain it to me.
We talk with attention
'til the coming of dawn;
we don't want to stop...
we both stifle a yawn.

We've laughed, and we've giggled
and been so intense...
I've seen, with a wonder,
why our love makes such sense!
Throughout the long night,
you've held onto my hand...
we are weak with exhaustion-
I can't even stand.

We've shared our dark secrets,
our hopes, and our dreams.
We have so much in common...
much more than it seemed.
The cats have inspected,
and seen you for you...
they agree with me fully...
they approve of you, too!

When I rested my head
on your shoulder at ten,
we had gotten to poetry
as we did again and again.
By one, I had lain
my head in your lap;
you ruffled my hair
as we talked and we laughed.

By four I had felt it
starting to burn;
that surefire desire
had begun to return.
Too tired to talk,
surely too tired for love;
but then we're both crying
in an impassioned hug.

The feel of your arms
enveloping me so,
fans that tumultous desire
as the flames start to grow.
A mew, then a whimper,
escapes from my lips;
as you groan, pressing closer,
tightening your grip.

Exhaustion runs rampant,
but our lips meet instead-
your kiss, sweet, and healing,
sends a rush to my head.
Parting, and breathless,
we growl together, as one;
our gazes locked firmly,
we know we're not done.

I lean back my head...
give my pulse to your touch;
nothing denied you...
I want to feel you so much!
Your eyes, blazing fire,
flare up as I sigh.
Watching you closely,
I catch the flame in your eye.

My heart opens to you,
as the wolf makes his way
towards the surface of you,
and suddenly breaks away!
Oh, my goodness! Such power!
Such animal need...
leaves me momentarily winded,
then the tigress jumps free!

As our mouths lock together,
as we fall to the floor,
panting, and growling...
we've opened that door!
You take me with fierceness,
and love, and with lust.
We join in a tenderness,
and a need that's a must.

together we move,
you let out a howl...
one moment later,
I let loose a growl.
Then something inside me
floats through me like haze...
grabs me, and squeezes,
and leaves me quite dazed.

My heart feels like dying
to preserve this sweet feel-
as our souls intertwine,
nothing seems real.
Gasping, and crying,
and laughing out, too,
I suddenly realize you feel it too!

Minutes tick by-
surrealism wins.
The passions abates,
but the love doesn't dim.
We rise from the floor
in an odd, peaceful state...
holding hands, still, and moving,
sleep now is our fate.

The bed, soft and warm,
is inviting, it's true.
But the real peace tonight
is being with you.
My dreams are not aching,
your dreams are not haunted...
together, forever,
is all that we wanted.

Drifting, together,
our hearts beat as one;
we sleep with each other,
as the blinds greet the sun.

Impassioned Desires

2006-06-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

Innocent friendship never meant to blossom
Long discussions, kindnesses given -
glances, silent thoughts, mutual longings
tender caring, passion-driven.

Attempted resistance due to circumstances,
chemistry, overpowering desires -
surrendering, wondering, drawing closer
dual attractions, initial denials.

Glances turn to impassioned searching
whispered questions, quiet confessions -
fallen tears upon your shoulder
I cannot help it, you're my obsession.

I didn't intend to fall for you
I didn't intend to feel this love -
I didn't intend to complicate things
never intended this, I swear to Above.

Kisses soft and tender and lingering
skin to skin, feeling your heart beat -
contented in your warm embrace
lying pressed against you feels so sweet.

Breathless when your passion flares
taking my loving with such fierce need -
intensely claiming me as yours
racing shivers following your lead.

Touching you, tasting you,
gentle caresses, soft and exciting -
holding you close, crying out your name
so one with you, electrifying

Hours pass, you hold me close
we talk, we kiss, we touch -
it's obvious we need each other
and care for each other too much.

I Am Love

2006-06-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

I AM LOVE

I am that fiery shining in your eyes
the reason for your pounding heart
the rushing blood
into your face
I am here
with you
again
Again,
with you,
I am here
the butterflies
fluttering inside you
tongue-tied, trembling hands,
I am that dizziness in your head
I am that thumping, jumping in your chest
the reason you cannot think clearly
the silliest grin
on your lips
I am here
with you
again
Again,
with you,
I am here
the sunny days
so brightly burning
the heartache, the yearning
I am that craving you cannot relieve
I am that sigh escaping from your lips
the reason you walk past that door
the warmest blanket
on cold nights
I am here
with you
again

Many Lives

2006-04-11T13:20:00.000-07:00

As I sink back in time, as my spirit takes flight,
I see things that are strange, things at first don't seem right.
I see things as they were, back in time; back to Rome..
it is strange, yet so safe, because my soul's not alone.

I see Egypt in pieces, I see water and gold;
I feel someone is with me, and that soul's very old.
As I 'dream', I see water; liquid gold, tinted blue...
I feel sadness, and heartache, yet there's happiness, too.

The moon shines so clearly, glowing, burning each night;
stars that cover the ages, stars that shine with the light.
I see farmland, and pastures, I know work, I know pain...
I'm so close now, to nature, I connect with the rain.

As the decades slip by, as the centuries turn,
as I learn through this life, is it the past that I yearn?
Why the words come so swiftly, I only can guess...
along, somewhere, in time, as a poet I was blessed.

I sense animal presence very strong, and so true...
like a cloak, in the winter, covering all that I do.
The creatures stay with me, I feel one with them, too...
we are melded forever with compassion renewed.

The pictures move quickly, as they race through my mind...
if I linger too long somewhere, the next scene's left behind.
I must follow them quickly, I see horses and dust...
I've known weighty decisions, I've known hate and mistrust.

Now I see with a clearness, fire's flames licking high...
I've known a total devotion that won't be denied.
Pictures, feelings, emotions, flashing past, then they flee;
like the tides racing in, they gently flow out to sea.

I see dolphins around me, with the moon shining soft.
as I gaze at the stars, my soul's taken aloft.
I can see golden flowers, daisies laden with dew;
earthen pots holding potions, many cats live there,too.

I've known water, and fire, I've known pleasure and strife;
but the art of compassion is what I learn in this life.
As I drift through the ages, I feel people I know...
their bodies are different, but you can't hide the soul.

We all go through the paces of learning in life;
what changes is perception, and how we handle strife.
Soon the pictures start fading, soon I 'see' nothing more...
but it won't be too long when I again, go through that door.

The bars of a prison leave a lasting impression;
as the pictures all fade, there ends my regression.

Tears

2006-04-11T12:32:00.000-07:00

I come
from deep within your soul
I come
with tidings again
I'm not the joy
you've known before
I'm not relief
upon your features
but I'm here
again
with you.

I come
to taunt you once again
I come
with furrowed confusion
I am that crease
upon your brow
and I am here
again
with you.

I come
to play upon your heart
I come
to sing my song
I am that melody
around quivering lips
and I am here
again
with you.

I come
with bitter flames that sear
I come
with consuming intentions
I am the inferno
incinerating you
and I am here
again
with you.

Child Of Pain

2006-04-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

Hoping that she doesn't find
that speck of dust, a dirty spoon;
praying that with every strike,
she'll get too weary, and tire soon.

Your heart jumps every time she wakes,
every painful day has higher stakes.
Walking into traffic's way...
not wanting to live another day.

The shame, the pain, the lame excuses...
the tongue, the hand have many uses.
In the dark, the tears fall cold...
they match your heart, they choke your soul.

No self-esteem, no hope, no joy...
broken, and stifled, you've become her toy.
You're told you're worthless, you're made to crawl
scared, bruised, and empty, your back to the wall.

One day, you escape, and for once, you can breathe,
but still you feel your tortured heart seethe.
You find a man who seems so kind,
then, too late, you realize, he's not such a find.

Harsh words, cruel hands; again, you ask why...
he doesn't stop until you cry.
Again the words you hate to hear;
"I love you" always strikes such fear.

You try to leave, the punishment follows...
death and flames would be easier to swallow.
Years upon years, an agonizing stream...
you lose yourself, and forget how to scream.

A kick in the temple, a slap to the face;
such humiliation is hard to erase.
Another man takes from you, whatever he wishes,
and the man that you're with, barely twitches.

One day, you sit down, and the tears fall like rain...
for days you weep with guilt, shame, and pain.
No one to help you, nobody there...
death doesn't matter, because you don't care.

The deep, hollow nothing that makes up your soul
is just the beginning of what they all stole.
Abused, raped, berated, my head hung low,
I went to the nothing that I called my soul.

Somewhere, a spark, like a tiny ember, glowed...
desperately I fanned that spark, to make a fire grow.
Today, tears still fall, it takes so long to heal...
a lifetime to amend what so many steal.

The pain never leaves, the memories flare...
truly trusting another is so hard to share.
I'd like to pretend that none of it's real,
but that would mean I'd again cease to feel
.
I know what it's like to pray for demise...
to end all the 'torture', to just close your eyes.
But then, I found someone who cared how I felt....
someone who refused to allow me to melt;

I found, deep inside, a strength and a will...
hand in hand with myself, I tackled that hill.
When I see it happen around me, today,
I step in, and stop it, anytime, anyway.

No one deserves to have themselves stolen away...
for this, dear Lord, I pray everyday.

Creepers

2006-04-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

Creeping out to greet me
when I don't want their company
I don't want their burdens
or their angry red burnings

I don't like those things
from the wormholes of memories
where they fester and writhe
where they reach for my throat

whirling past scarred ashes
I used to call my senses
beside peeled, broken crayons
that once were heartlongings

Ashen corroded peepholes
slinking past my soul
seeking, leaking lovefest
lost in hellish desires

Taking wholeness making holes
careening, swirling depths
go away, o tangled webs
release my bleeding heartlife

The Tigress

2006-04-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

I gazed upon the vast, blue sky
the rugged growth, brown and green;
I strained to hear her raging cry,
a mystery so rarely seen.

The muscles ripple powerfully,
the fire flashing from her eyes;
her restless pacing, endlessly,
I can only sympathize.

Her cubs, long lost to man's own hand,
would have been immortality;
Alone, now, she longingly roams the land,
crying out so beseechingly.

A mighty figure, proud and rare,
the strength, the high intensity;
She fixes you with her steady stare,
you have the urge to turn and flee.

Man's own hand, so swift a judge,
has placed her on the phase-out plan;
but true to form, she holds no grudge,
she only wants to hold her land.

Her home grows smaller every day,
her territory dies;
the awesome tigress will fade away
with one last angry, lonely cry.

And man, the one who plays the God,
will blossom day by day;
and all our creatures, with barely a nod,
will slowly slip away.

Just A Cat?

2006-04-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

Cats, in these eyes, are amusing, mystical,
powerful, intuitive....
felines; fur-trimmed commas,
question marks, exclamation points.

Guardians, hunters, friends, listeners...
affectionate, mischievous flashes of light
cavorting with paper,
with foil, with life.

Painful potential, yet paws so gentle;
like a feather, a dancer,
a bubble in flight.
A miniature lion, a cheetah, a cub...
regal in repose, intensity in motion.

A cat, curled around your feet at night,
becomes a silent thief of stress.
Eyes so expressive...
emeralds, sapphires, topaz, quartz;
sparkling, searching, imparting, sharing

Mutual respect.
A cat just a cat? I think not!

The Love That's You

2006-04-09T05:59:00.000-07:00

How does one describe your allure?
How do I make you see?
What can I say or do to explain
what you mean to me?

It's not the outer one who draws
though that itself is appealing;
it's the one who resides within
and induces my emotional healing.

Graying hair, that is true,
the debate of hazel eyes...
your incredible, sexy, timbered voice
will always get my rise.

But all of those are exterior being,
as I gaze deep into your eyes;
the passion, hope, and depths within
and the intensity it implies.

You claimed to be a simple man
in an attempt to pretend no connection...
a good technique, I must admit,
but useless despite harmless intentions.

In your eyes I see the fires
restrained and contained all these years...
then suddenly confronted with mine,
I see the stirring and subsequent fears.

You know we connect, just as I do,
and the possibles fill you with need.
However your person is also thus filled
with the vows that you feel you must heed.

I see a surrender as you allow caring to grow,
confusion, frustration run high;
What to do on the field of us now is wondered
convincing your heart it's a lie.

It all being bogus would suit your heart well,
since then it would not have to doubt...
but you know deep inside, I am truthful with you
and you do not want to live, now, without.

If the doubts that you foster when we are apart
were honestly what you did feel,
returning to me time and again
would never be part of this deal.

The sands of time, measured in days
each passing one it grows stronger;
the bonds and the ties and attachments all hold
time spent together gets longer.

Tentative kisses become, over weeks,
bolder, impassioned displays....
Hesitant touches turn to knowing embraces
changing to civility in the light of day.

Whispered confessions, undercover exchanges,
hours and hours spent together;
it's still not enough, though the flesh is sated,
the soul always reaches to endeavor.

Connections of flesh, connections of emotions,
they spark all around between us;
connections of minds, connections of souls
fighting the connection is useless.

Skeletons pulled from their secret, dark closets
rattle but cannot divide us;
deadened emotions rising like phoenixes
only serve to strengthen our trusts.

I told you all this, months ago
I knew there was something between us...
Drawn to you magnetically, and the way we both are
it was certain to be far more than lust.

You got here shortly after dawn,
leaving now, it's turning to dusk...
nothing was eaten, nothing to drink,
the taking of so many risks.

Gentle, loving, slow carresses,
sweet and easy kisses;
fevered, urgent, bodies pressing,
sudden changes, heartbeat misses.

So much covered, so much said,
so many whispered confessions...
different backrounds, different people
but doesn't even feel like concessions.

Wanting to be part of you
drawn into your being...
Needing you to be part of me
the same vision we are seeing.

MindMeld

2006-04-09T05:54:00.000-07:00

Feeling you inside my mind
treading lightly, softly,
gently nudging at my memories
carefully peeking at my soul
whisperlight wingtouches
as you seefeel my quivering heart

Tendrils of your essence
curling 'round my own,
carressing affectionately
entreating honestly
whispering caringly
as you meander through

Reaching out towards your soul
climbing into you
gently nudging at your memories
carefully peeking with your permission
as I surround your heart
looking for handholds

Raptly listening,
hearingfeeling your needs
wrapping my essence 'round yours
mingling, intertwining
stroking, soothing your fears
as I tiptoe through you

(for the love of my life, you know who you are)

Twin Wonders

2006-04-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

I watch you sleeping side by side
and shake my head in wondrous awe
what miracle brought you to us
what void you filled
when I knew of no void

The circumstances creating you
could never have been guessed
anticipated, or believed
No one, me least of all
would have thought you two
were exactly what we needed

The fascination of opposite twins
the way you know me
laughing and kicking
trying to get me to see you
as if to say, hey I'm here mom
trying to get me to hold you
and hug you close
and talk to you

But I started loving you long before
you ever laid eyes on this world
how could I help it?
How could I not talk to you
and hug you close
and hold you
and love my twin sons?

One so fair, blue eyes so wide
dimples and smiles
overtaking your face
One so mysterious,
bronzed with beautiful
long-lashed brown eyes
both so joyous
so happy
so wonderfully miraculous
so perfect

Never failing to amaze me
babies so tiny
so fragile
so dependant on me
Needing me for so many years
then leaving my side
to have babies
of your own

Is your brother really ten already?
Another decade
and I'll be right here
where I am now
again

Some call me brave
I say you caught me
in your twin web of love
reaching for me
first with your cries
then with your eyes
now with your hands
soon with your arms
Eventually retreating
reaching for another woman
and asking her to love you too

But today I watch you sleeping
trying to catch snatches of nap
so I can keep up with you
when you are up at night
wanting me to feed and play...
then the sun slips away
and tonight replaces today
just as tears will someday
replace your smiles, my loves

I wish I could forever protect
but I cannot
and so I love....

The Baby Laughs

2006-03-28T14:43:00.000-08:00

THE BABY LAUGHS

When the baby doesn't cry, he sleeps.
When he doesn't sleep, he eats...
or watches...or wants.
But when the baby laughs,
Oh, what a sight!

As that smile beams across his face,
his eyes sparkle with joy, when the baby laughs!
When he sees mommy, or daddy,
or the wind blows in his face...
or "Jaffy" kisses him on the nose,
the baby laughs, and
Oh, what a sight!

What wild, un-abandoned joy,
such pure pleasure, when the baby laughs!
Blue eyes, so big, so blue...
They sparkle when the baby laughs!
Unrestrained squeals, when the baby laughs!

The baby laughs when you sing to him,
or talk to him, or smile at him.
I hug him close, and the baby laughs!
This son of mine, the happy child,
this loved soul, this part of me.
Oh, how I love him so...
Oh, what a sight, while the baby laughs!

~written for my son, now 10, when he was a baby